Former Tennessee politician breaks wank speed record – 90mph

The former vice mayor of Mount Carmel, Tennessee exposed himself and masturbated in the direction of at least three different women while driving his car at 90mph.

The women testified against the man in court and all described in graphic detail how he would get their attention while they were driving and then hang his penis out the car window.

Police believe that the man has been pulling the disturbing stunt for years as they have received dozens of complaints from different women about a man doing lewd acts on the road.

He is now facing charges of indecent and reckless endangerment and criminal attempt to commit aggravated assault … as well as reckless driving.

 

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Mass stabbing in Texas

A student (Dylan Quick) went on an attack at a Houston, Texas community college and stabbed 14 people.

After he got arrested, the 20-year-old told the cops that he’d fantasized for years about stabbing people to death.

Apparently, he was running loose from building to building with a razor-type knife and stabbing people in the head and neck.

Fourteen people got knifed, four had to be airlifted and two are still critical.

Three students ended up taking the guy down and held him until the cops showed up.

So far, the student has been charged with aggravated assault, no word on whether he’ll get slapped with anything else.

Dan’s Fresh Load – 4/9

Sweet!  Plenty of great music out today – There’s new Volbeat, Drowning Pool, Stone Sour, and of course, the first offering from David Draiman’s Device!

Stone Sour - The House of Gold and Bones Pt 2

Device - Device

Dan’s Pick:  Gotta go with the Volbeat.  I don’t know exactly what it is about these guys, but I’m on board!  Hey, if they can get Rob from Anthrax to leave and join them, they must be doing something right, right??

 

 

 

 

Is this even legal? Fake kidnapping service

A company called Extreme Kidnapping provides the only-in-America service of a fake kidnapping.

According to GQ magazine, the company will give you a full kidnapping experience for $1,500.

Customers get to select the type of kidnappers they’d like as well as their brand of punishment.

For instance, one kidnapped man was duct-taped to a chair, slapped, zapped with a stun gun, and doused in cold water, among other things.

However, at some point in the experience, the kidnappers create the impression that the fake kidnapping has become real- doing things that the customer didn’t ask for.

Knicks Forward Shumpert forced to remove logo from hair

New York Knicks forward Iman Shumpert endorses Adidas, so he recently shaved the company’s logo into the back of his head. Adidas was cool with it, but the NBA wasn’t.

The league called Shumpert and forced him to remove the logo. They referred him to a rule in the NBA that says “the only article bearing a commercial ‘logo’ which can be worn by players is their shoes.”

So Shumpert shaved the logo and now all he has on his head is an empty triangle.

He Tweeted: ”#banned. sry @nba didn’t realize there were branding issues wit da logo #iPUToN.”

No word on if Shumpert was fined for the logo.

Councilman caught in bribery plot also a member of pre-Christianity religion… SIGN US UP

Dan Halloran, a New York councilman from Queens, was arrested Tuesday as part of an alleged plot to buy his friend’s way onto the mayoral ticket — is also a member of a pre-Christian Germanic religiion called Theodism.  Believers of the religion ”drink mead or whiskey from horns and dress like characters in a Renaissance fair.”  He’s not a very bright member of his religion either, having been publicly flogged for committing an undisclosed act against a female probationary servant.  He was stripped, strapped to a tree, and flogged with a belt 11 times.  Halloran also wanted to form his own splinter group, which required him to duel with another member in a treacherous game that involved chucking a 7-foot-long sapling tree spear at each other while 30 paces apart.

 

Seriously, we couldn’t have made this up.  Click here for the full story from the New York Post.