All the ingredients to make the year’s hottest video are present, but somewhere along the way something went terribly wrong, and my expectations have been let down in a way that I haven’t experienced since I got caught sneaking a peek at my presents before Christmas, resulting in my mother re-negging the gift. You have a shot at producing internet gold, and you don’t even bear your bikini bottom? Lame. I give this video two very un excited thumbs down.
There are more than a few things wrong with this video:
- what effing year is it that a library allows you to search for porn on a public computer?
- what responsible parent lets their high school child ride a motorcycle around on Friday nights?
- isn’t going to your friend’s house to get loaded and watch porn a bit creepy?
- what was the teacher doing before the student showed up at his door?
- WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THEY CLOSED THE DOOR??!
Check out this state-by-state search term map (SFW) pornhub did.
A 25-year-old prisoner is suing the Oklahoma Corrections Department because he was forced to have sex with his caseworker 50 to 100 times.
The woman was arrested last year on a rape charge when cops heard a recording of a phone call with the woman making sexual comments to the inmate.
According to Oklahoma law, any sex between an inmate and a Corrections Department employee is considered rape.
The man is in jail for 13 years for attempted armed robbery, burglary, vehicle theft and weapons possession.
A small drone crashed while taking video of the bull run in Virginia over the weekend. It injured four or five people watching the run but none were hurt enough to go to the hospital.
While the drone was hovering over the crowd it suddenly started falling and crashed on the fans.
Two people who were running in the event were taken to the hospital for concussions. One other man was hurt when he was trampled by other runners.
At least it wasn’t one of those drones that flies over Pakistan and Yemen!
So this personal trainer completed a total takedown of the ‘before and after’ selfie, taking these two photos that look like a couple of months of hard work, 15 minutes apart from each other. Check out her magic weight loss secrets below!
“Check out my transformation! It took me 15 minutes. Wanna know my secret? Well firstly I ditched the phonewallet (fwallet) cause that shit is lame, swapped my bather bottoms to black (cause they’re a size bigger & black is slimming), Smothered on some fake tan, clipped in my hair extensions, stood up a bit taller, sucked in my guts, popped my hip- threw in a skinny arm, stood a bit wider #boxgap, pulled my shoulders back and added a bit of a cheeky/Im so proud of my results smile. Zoomed in on the before pic- zoomed out on the after & added a filter. Cause filters make everything awesome.
What’s my point? Don’t be deceived by what you see in magazines & on Instagram. You never see the dozens of other pics they took that wernt as flattering. Photoshop can make a pig look hotter then Beyonce.”
This video will make you want to keep your phone in your pocket, you know, while life is happening.
Also, it kind of makes you want to kick everybody in the head.
Hundreds of people were forced to flee a convention (in the U.K.) after burlesque dancer Go Go Amy’s flaming nipple tassles triggered the fire alarm.
Amy’s act also featured her swallowing flames. But it was cut short and audience members at the Tattoo Convention headed for the exits.
A large crowd had gathered to watch the exotic dancer, and the incident occurred when the dancer blew out the flames.
One of the organizers explained, ”They weren’t meant to use fire in the act but I think they just completely forgot.”
Firefighters who rushed to the location quickly realized that it was a false alarm.
This guy got totally loaded one night and tried to do a bunch of things like exercising, trying to look sober, and even attempted to dance too. Then he got really stoned the next night and tried to do all those things. Here they are, side by side. Remember kids, don’t drink and drive. And, we’re not in Colorado or Washington, which renders the herb ILLEGAL.
A topless woman on a motorcycle was arrested after crashing her bike on a highway in Wisconsin.
Police spotted the woman riding with a shirt on, but her breasts were exposed and she was driving with no hands.
She was screaming at every car and “kind of” assaulting people with her motorcycle. AT one point, she lost control of her motorcycle and crashed in the middle of the highway.
When police got to her she was talking about religion. She only suffered a cut on her chin. No one else was injured.
She was arrested after police learned she was on prescription drugs.
A 43-year-old woman getting married decided to dance down the aisle to the x-rated Buckcherry song, ‘Crazy B***h’.
Her daughter posted it on Youtube, and it has been viewed more than 650,000 times, generating over 1,500 comments.
** Most of the comments are negative, with commenters calling her “white trash” and a “red neck.”
The video is full of other hilarious moments like when a concerned father tried to cover his young son’s ears,and when the groom and his groomsmen were spotted wearing matching bandanas.
The woman has defended her choice of song, saying, ‘Who made the rule on how my wedding should be and just so you know it was my wedding at my house and they were my guests if and when you ever find anyone to marry your narrow minded self you can have your wedding at your location with your guests in your way and guess what I will respect your choice because I live in the USA and that is what we do here.’
After the ceremony, the newlyweds rode off to the reception flanked by ‘a parade of Harleys…and black sunglasses.’
K-Rock salutes you, you Crazy Bitch!