If First Dates Were Like Tinder

I was thinking it’d be more like the act of swiping those you’re not interested in to an abyss never to be heard from again, but, rather, it focuses on the way more entertaining aspect of dudes immediately flashing d*ck pics, asking to get laid, and overall weak-ass attempts to get a girl into bed.

This Old Man Turns Down For Nothing

This old man feels the music.

Forget about faith making the sick well, all they need is a little Lil’ Jon. Alright, he’s obviously not dancing to Turn Down For What, but whatever music is playing is making the old man move. But why is this video only sixteen seconds? Why did he stop filming?

Did the old man die? Even if, why did he stop recording?!?

Harvard Students Invent Spray Cake Batter

Two students at Harvard invented spray cake batter.

The two came up with the cake batter in a spray can for a class project. It comes out of the can pre-risen, so it bakes in less time and is microwavable.

They also say it’s organic and has less chemicals than traditional box cakes.

The two have already found a seller and now they are looking for a local manufacturer so they can start selling it at stores.

Source

Ventriloquist Uses Puppet For Sex

A 26-year-old ventriloquist who said she lives in the Pacific Northwest is gaining popularity online by having sex with her puppet, Slappy.

The former stripper said she would only get 10 to 20 people to watch her sex show online but since having sex with the puppet, her “room” now has hundreds of people watching.

She first used Slappy to keep herself inspired during her sex shows but decided to start having sex with him to gain popularity. She said their role play sex includes the doll dressed as Willy Wonka while she dresses up as an oompa loompa.

They even have a freaky Friday routine where she dresses like Slappy while the doll wears her clothes.

She admits having Slappy as part of her shows is a way for her to practice to become a better ventriloquist.