Wedding season can be fun, but there’s nothing worse for guests than having to sit through uninspired toasts by peeps in the wedding party who probably don’t even have any mic skills, right? Occasionally, it gets pretty heartfelt to the point of tears, and that’s just awkward for everybody. Either that, or the cheesiest jokes you wish you never heard are uttered to the dismay and mostly-silent, forced chuckles from the crowd. But not this girl, not this time. This one’s for you, rapping bridesmaid.
…here’s another reminder that you really shouldn’t be? This kid can’t handle it, and has gone full zombie. You never go full zombie.
Seriously, this chick from the Czech Republic should be dead – or at least have a couple of amputated limbs. This is why you don’t fall asleep by the tracks, kiddos. She’s lucky to be alive. Gotta love it when good things happen to dumb people, right?
Nothing makes us more proud to be from Kansas:
Lamb of God lead singer, Randy Blythe will write a memoir about his life and what he went through during his manslaughter trial in the Czech Republic.
The book is supposed to come out sometime in the spring of 2014.
In the book Blythe will talk about getting arrested, his incarceration, trial and eventually being acquitted of manslaughter.
Blythe said he has wanted to be an author since he began reading and hopes some good comes out of the book.
Twinkle Twinkle Little Rock Star has released lullabies from several hard rock and metal bands including Slipknot, Pantera and Avenged Sevenfold. Now the company is turningsongs from the band Tool into lullabies.
Twelve songs will be changed into lullabies including, “Schism”, “Stinkfist” and “Lateralus”. The full album will be out July 16th but can be pre-ordered.
Their song, “Sober” can be listened to right here!
Lou Reed thinks Kanye West’s “Yeezus” is “majestic and inspiring.” Reed found time to write a 2,000-word review for “The Talkhouse” where he expresses his views on Ye’s set.
Reed said: “There are moments of supreme beauty and greatness on this record, and then some of it is the same old sh*t. It’s like farting. It’s another dare. I dare you to like this. Very perverse.”
“With this album, it’s now that you like me, I’m going to make you unlike me. It’s a dare. It’s braggadoccio. Axl Rose has done that too, lots of people have. ‘I Am a God’ — I mean, with a song title like that, he’s just begging people to attack him.”
“Some lyrical references, like ‘getting head from nuns and eating Asian pussy with sweet and sour sauce,’ which might be funny to a 14-year-old but has nothing to do with me. C’mon, he’s just having fun. That’s no more serious than if he said he’s going to drop a bomb on the Vatican.”
Don’t worry, the cow gets up and runs off. Greatest c@*%block ever.
A police officer in Oklahoma was caught on camera, saving a little girl who was held hostage.
A suspect was holding a two-year-old child hostage at knife point inside a Wal-Mart for no apparent reason, when the officer was forced to take quick action.
The suspect grabbed the child, and then demanded that her mother call a police officer.
During the 30 minute standoff, the suspect appeared to suffer from mental illness and claimed to be the “richest man in the world.”
The suspect held a knife to the child’s stomach and then her neck, leading the officer to walk up and shoot the suspect point blank in the head.
The child did not suffer any injuries.