EMT’s Break Into Hot Car to Save… A Doll

EMT’s in New Jersey broke a car window and saved a doll after thinking it was a real baby.

Neighbors spotted the “child” in the car seat and called 911 thinking the baby had passed out from the heat.

It turns out the 2-year-old who owned the doll, left the toy in the car seat.  Probably scared the fake piss outta that doll.

It wasn’t known if EMT’s will pay for the broken window.

Wasn’t known?  They damn sure better be payin’ for that!

Check out this Kanga-bro

“Do you even lift, mate?”  Seriously, though.  I wanna know what his protein regimen is.  Does he drink breast milk before or after lifting?  HGH?  So many questions.

Man Throws Chair Through Speeding Woman’s Windshield

A Pennsylvania man spotted a woman speeding down his street, so?

He threw a chair through her car’s windshield.

The woman thought the man was taking the chair out of the road so she slowed down. She said the windshield shattered which threw pieces of glass into her and her passenger’s face.

A toddler in the vehicle also suffered a bloody lip.

The man was arrested and charged with reckless endangerment, assault and propelling a missile into an occupied vehicle.

Every Samuel L. Jackson “Motherf*#%er”

Three and a half glorious minutes.  Here’s the breakdown.

School Daze (1988): 1
Jungle Fever (1991): 7
Strictly Business (1991): 1
Menace II Society (1993): 5
True Romance (1993): 4
Fresh (1994): 1
Pulp Fiction (1994): 26 motherf-ckers
Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995): 7
Hard Eight (1996): 1
The Great White Hype (1996): 2
The Long Kiss Goodnight” (1996): 3
Jackie Brown (1997): 37
The Negotiator (1998): 2
Rules of Engagement (2000): 5
Shaft (2000): 13
Formula 51 (2001): 6
Basic (2003): 2
In My Country (2004): 1
Freedomland (2006): 1
Snakes on a Plane: 3
Black Snake Moan (2006): 6
Soul Men (2008): 24
Arena (2011): 1
Meeting Evil (2012): 1
Django Unchained (2012): 4
Oldboy (2013): 8
RoboCop (2014): 1

5-Minute Preview of The Family Guy/Simpsons Episode

If you’ve always wondered what would happen if Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson hung out at a bar while Bart and Stewie made prank phone calls, Family Guy is about to satisfy your crossover craving. In the Sept. 28 season premiere, “The Simpsons Guy,”the albino Griffins wind up by accident in Springfield, where they are greeted warmly by the hepatits-y Simpsons. But a fast friendship christened with delicious doughnuts may be forever destroyed by an argument over Pawtucket Patriot Ale and Duff Beer, which leads to an epic chicken fight.

To see the collision of these two animated worlds—plus a cameo by Bob from Bob’s Burgers—check out nearly five minutes of footage from the double-sized episode, which was screened on Saturday during the Family Guy panel at Comic-Con.

Mad Max and Walking Dead Season 5 Trailers!

It’s been a long, hard road to get to the long, hard road of “Mad Max: Fury Road” — but we’re almost there.

At San Diego Comic-Con, director George Miller and Warner Bros. brought the new “Mad Max” movie to fans, with never-before-seen footage that pulled the curtain back quite a bit on a film that’s essentially just one gigantic chase sequence.

“The story popped in my head and just wouldn’t get away, like an imaginary friend,” Miller said. “I love chase movies; I think they’re the purest form of cinema. That’s where the film language started. I wanted to make one long, extended chase, and see what we could pick up about the characters along the way.”

The “extended chase sequence” is on full display in the footage that Miller brought to Comic-Con. It begins with a long-haired Tom Hardy as Max, stomping on a lizard, then eating it. He hops in his muscle car and drives off into the barren desert — and before long, he’s captured by monstrous looking thugs, who take him to their lair, shave his hair off, tattoo him and chain him up — complete with a muzzle that looks almost Bane-esque. Expect some “Fury Road”/”Dark Knight Rises” mash-ups come 2015.

The action picks up when Charlize Theron’s Furiosa and her band attack Max’s captors, instigating an insanely kinetic chase sequence with roaring muscle cars, exploding trucks, electric dust storms, flying bodies, and an entirely unrecognizable and crazy performance from Nicolas Hoult.

At one point, muzzled Max, chained to the back of Hoult’s car, watches in awe as trucks and cars get swirled up into a flaming dust storm, exploding and sending bodies flying every which way. The shot is unflinching, the violence unforgiving; the scene seems to be on the edge of ending at every turn, but it just keeps going, getting more and more brutal and loud, until Hoult finally cuts the tension:

“What a lovely day,” he shouts. “What a lovely day!”

It’s just a taste of the non-stop action that Miller has in mind for “Fury Road.” He said that it was a “crazy but interesting” experience to go back to the world of “Mad Max,” but casting his three leads made the job much easier.

“People often say that 75% of your job is done as a director in the casting,” he said. “I was waiting for someone like Tom Hardy to come along; he has all the qualities. And Charlize, when you get to see the movie, there are certain dimensions of Charlize that fit the character of Furiosa. And the same, in many ways, with Nick Hoult.”

Miller said that he didn’t want to make “Fury Road” in a conventional way; as such, rather than writing a script, he first teamed up with co-writer and artist Brendan McCarthy to storyboard the entire film “as one long comic book; it was 3,500 panels. There’s not many words spoken in the movie. People only speak when they have to. I wanted to tell the story as best as possible in pictures.”

Even with new actors and new technology, Miller said that “Fury Road” calls back to the themes and tone prevalent throughout “Mad Max,” especially “Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior.”

“There’s no rule of law. There’s no honor,” he said. “People are just surviving. It’s like a Western: a very spare and clear movie. You can get away from all the clever.”

“Mad Max: Fury Road” hits theaters on May 15, 2015.

Here’s the first full-length trailer for The Walking Dead, season five. Okay, okay, we got to see Battfleck earlier today, but we don’t have wait until frickin’ 2016 for this to actually happen. (We don’t, right? Just until October 12th? Okay, good.)

Japanese Schoolgirl Ninjas Will Blow Your Mind

This video by Japanese channel SUNTORY starts off innocently enough. It seems to just feature two girls playing and chasing each other in school. But things quickly escalate. Viewers soon realize we have two parkour ninja masters on our hands. The clip has instantly gone viral with over 850,000 views!

Kid Rock Subpoenaed to Produce Glass Sex Toy in Court

The ongoing sexual harassment lawsuit against horrorcore hip-hop act Insane Clown Posse just got a lot more disgusting, and it involves a glass sex toy reportedly owned by Kid Rock. Attorneys for the group’s former publicist, Andrea Pellegrini, have subpoenaed the rocker to produce the item as court evidence, Detroit Free Press reports.

The subpoena states that “Dirty Dan” Diamond, a former employee of ICP’s label Psychopathic Records, gave the item to Kid Rock after a failed attempt at passing it along to Pellegrini. According to a press release from the publicist’s attorneys, Diamond admitted under oath to this disturbing gesture on Friday during his deposition in Las Vegas; he reportedly tried to give Pellegrini the glass phallus after learning she was single. Kid Rock (real name Robert James Ritchie) has 14 days to produce the item in court; both the singer and his manager, Lee Trink, were unavailable for comment for the Free Press as of Tuesday evening.

Pellegrini, a three-year employee with Psychopathic Records, filed the suit in September 2013, alleging “wrongful termination, harassment, retaliation and infliction of emotional distress” against ICP (Joseph “Violent J” Bruce and Joseph “Shaggy 2 Dope” Utsler), Psychopathic Records and the group’s manager, William Dale. (She also described her time at the 2012 Gathering of the Juggalos festival as “a living hell.”) According to the Free Press, an attorney for ICP denied the allegations last year.

In other Juggalo-related news: Last month, a Detroit federal judge dimissed ICP’s lawsuit that hoped to erase an FBI report describing their fans, the Juggalos, as a “gang.” But the group is planning to appeal the decision, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Drugging Girls in Public Prank Goes Violently Wrong

Some bro thought he was a viral genius, thought he could make a prank video called “drugging girls in public.” As it turns out, it was a bad idea and he got his ass beat as a result. Stupid is as stupid does.

I’m not sure who’s dumber here—this SoFloAntonio guy or YouTube for letting him profit from it. They might be equally dumb. My favorite part of the video is when he started crying. That made me laugh. More videos of guys crying after doing stupid shit please.