Dude Films Self Driving Like an A-Hole, Rear Ends Car

An 18-year-old dude was arrested in Florida after filming two crashes he was responsible for.

He uploaded the video onto YouTube and called it, “me driving like an idiot.”

The teen was seen racing over a causeway and squeezing between two cars with only inches to spare. The video ends after he rear-ended a vehicle– but the teen didn’t stop until he caused a second accident.

Five people were taken to the hospital including the teen, but no one was seriously injured.

EFFED UP HEADLINE: Guy Convicted of Assault on Roommate Who Drew a Penis on His Face (mugshot)

A Virginia man has been convicted of assault and battery for beating up his roommate after the roommate drew a penis on his face while he slept.

The man and his two roommates were out drinking before they came home and the man fell asleep on the couch.

The victim decided to prank him by drawing a penis on his face with a black dry erase marker, and when he woke up he repeatedly punched the victim in the face.

As a result of the assault, the victim suffered a broken nose, an eye that was swollen shut and other facial injuries.

Penis Face was sentenced to a $1,250 fine on the misdemeanor charge, but received no additional jail time.

Dudes Robbing Adult Store Suffer From Pre-Mature Gunshot Problems

Cops in Houston said some clumsy criminals wanted for firing shots inside a lingerie business.

The suspects walked into the boutique around 3 a.m. and surveillance cameras were rolling. Two of the men had weapons. The suspect with the revolver apparently bumped into the suspect with the rifle, causing the rifle to discharge.

The shot spooked the suspects and both men started shooting. Cops believe they thought they were being shot. Almost a dozen rounds were fired in the store.

No customers were inside at the time. Two workers hid and didn’t get hurt.

Cops are hoping someone can help identify the shooters.

Shirtless D-Bag Asks Reporter Out During Live Fire Broadcast

A Los Angeles reporter’s live news report was interrupted by a shirtless man who asked her out on a date.

The man told the reporter she was super pretty and asked if she wanted to go out sometime.

He was told they were on live TV but he didn’t seem to care. He was walking his dog and was watching a fire that he said was pretty cool.

It isn’t known if she said yes to the date. Doubtful, as she’s married.

GRAPHIC: Snake Eats Itself

Well, that looked terrible.  So many questions, though:  Does this happen often?  Does the snake disappear or get bigger?  Why didn’t that a-hole filming do something about it?  These are things we may never know.