EMT’s Break Into Hot Car to Save… A Doll

EMT’s in New Jersey broke a car window and saved a doll after thinking it was a real baby.

Neighbors spotted the “child” in the car seat and called 911 thinking the baby had passed out from the heat.

It turns out the 2-year-old who owned the doll, left the toy in the car seat.  Probably scared the fake piss outta that doll.

It wasn’t known if EMT’s will pay for the broken window.

Wasn’t known?  They damn sure better be payin’ for that!

Check out this Kanga-bro

“Do you even lift, mate?”  Seriously, though.  I wanna know what his protein regimen is.  Does he drink breast milk before or after lifting?  HGH?  So many questions.

Man Throws Chair Through Speeding Woman’s Windshield

A Pennsylvania man spotted a woman speeding down his street, so?

He threw a chair through her car’s windshield.

The woman thought the man was taking the chair out of the road so she slowed down. She said the windshield shattered which threw pieces of glass into her and her passenger’s face.

A toddler in the vehicle also suffered a bloody lip.

The man was arrested and charged with reckless endangerment, assault and propelling a missile into an occupied vehicle.

Every Samuel L. Jackson “Motherf*#%er”

Three and a half glorious minutes.  Here’s the breakdown.

School Daze (1988): 1
Jungle Fever (1991): 7
Strictly Business (1991): 1
Menace II Society (1993): 5
True Romance (1993): 4
Fresh (1994): 1
Pulp Fiction (1994): 26 motherf-ckers
Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995): 7
Hard Eight (1996): 1
The Great White Hype (1996): 2
The Long Kiss Goodnight” (1996): 3
Jackie Brown (1997): 37
The Negotiator (1998): 2
Rules of Engagement (2000): 5
Shaft (2000): 13
Formula 51 (2001): 6
Basic (2003): 2
In My Country (2004): 1
Freedomland (2006): 1
Snakes on a Plane: 3
Black Snake Moan (2006): 6
Soul Men (2008): 24
Arena (2011): 1
Meeting Evil (2012): 1
Django Unchained (2012): 4
Oldboy (2013): 8
RoboCop (2014): 1

WATCH THIS 10-YEAR OLD GIRL COVER SLAYER

Check out this 10-year old girl covering “War Ensemble” by Slayer! She’s playing the song via Rocksmith, a video game that teaches you how to play guitar. You have to plug a real guitar into the console so this is actually her playing. She gets some nice backup vocals from her younger sister as well!

5-Minute Preview of The Family Guy/Simpsons Episode

If you’ve always wondered what would happen if Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson hung out at a bar while Bart and Stewie made prank phone calls, Family Guy is about to satisfy your crossover craving. In the Sept. 28 season premiere, “The Simpsons Guy,”the albino Griffins wind up by accident in Springfield, where they are greeted warmly by the hepatits-y Simpsons. But a fast friendship christened with delicious doughnuts may be forever destroyed by an argument over Pawtucket Patriot Ale and Duff Beer, which leads to an epic chicken fight.

To see the collision of these two animated worlds—plus a cameo by Bob from Bob’s Burgers—check out nearly five minutes of footage from the double-sized episode, which was screened on Saturday during the Family Guy panel at Comic-Con.