In a funny performance at the this year’s College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational, a dad from Utah runs down all the ways he’s been preparing for the boy who might one day break his daughter’s heart.
Some of the lines from his poem:
‘To the boys who will one day date my daughter,’ ‘I have been waiting for you.
‘Since before her birth. since before my spark took hold and ignited a fire in her mother’s belly, I have been training to kill you.’
‘Pay no attention to my ample crawlspace, my room with a rubber mat and a drain. Be careful to only approach me with love for my daughter. ‘
‘To the girls who may one day date my daughter: My wife is a better shot than I am.’
Check it out!
Seriously, just wait for it. The payoff is worth it.
A Tennessee couple who used a melted gummy bear to spice up their sex life were featured on the TLC show, “Sex Sent Me To The E.R.”
The guy got his girlfriend the giant gummy bear as a gift. They decided to heat up the candy and drizzled the goo on the woman’s chest. She said her chest felt like it was on fire because the candy never cooled after making contact. She ended up suffering sugar burns.
The boyfriend tried to lick the goo off her chest but ended up burning his tongue.
And he doesn’t care if he has to jump over a tall gate to do it. At least a littler of puppies won’t be a surprise, thanks to this surveillance camera.
I’ve always said I would prefer it this way, but I’m not so sure after watching this vid. – Dan
This dude has found the most memorable parts of a bunch of songs and put em all together in little two second snippets. Just as you figure out the riff, he’s already moved on!
What happens when you get a crazy Italian guy, Mentos, Coke, a condom, and some Nutella? THIS.
:ew, incredible experiment with Coke and Mentos! But we’re gonna try something new today: the energy and vitality of Nutella! And as always, we’re gonna use a condom, but this time it’s gonna be mango-flavored. Let’s start. First thing: let’s take some Nutella and put it on the top of the bottle, creating some kind of Nutella cap that will be fundamental for the Nutella-Coke-Mentos reaction. Good, now we open our condom and we put Mentos in it. Not just one, two or three, but five Mentos, since we found out during previous experiments that 5 is the best quantity of Mentos in terms of maximum reaction. Now we’re going to seal everything with some tape. Perfect: Nutella, Mentos… now we’re gonna let the Mentos drop on top of the Nutella, and that’s enough for… and here’s the reaction! Incredible, guys! Coke and Mentos are reacting… it’s a world record! Look at it! It’s a world record! Look at it! IT’S A MIRACLE!!! WOOOOORLD REEEECOOOOOORD!!! COKE, MENTOS AND NUTELLA WORLD RECOOOORD!!! GOOOOO ITALYYYYYY!!!!!! NUTELLA, GUYS, IT’S THE PERFECT INGREDIENT!! YEEEEEESSSS!!!!:
Just last weekend on SNL, “Brian Kilmeade” also mistook the NAACP for the NCAA. Check that out here:
Reddit user BennyTheBuff posted a clip of his son attempting to say “thank you”… dopping the ‘than’ for ‘fuc’…. etc.